Wow, its been a year and some months since my last post and a lot has happened. Been on and off trying to find the best time to put up my first post after my long silence but its occurred to me that I’d probably wait another year without putting anything up either so I pushed myself, hence this.
So in between my very long break, I got engaged and in May this year, God sealed it all with the I Dos. Loooool! Our big day was all shades of amazing and that walk down the aisle was just perfect. Its been months since our wedding and all I can say is “God is faithful indeed”. He began the good work 7 years ago and with a long pause in between, thanks to our self will, God perfected that which He started.
Our relationship was simply a “God Project”. We had dated back in school for about 6 months or so but had to break up cuz he was graduating and I really wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. Back then, we dated basically cuz everyone was doing it- it had no purpose- and so we abused it. This was in 2009/2010 and we were cool yea but we weren’t true to ourselves. Our relationship then missed the God factor. We practically rode blindly and God decided to stop it before we headed for the cliff.
After 5 years, (no communication) we came back together but this time, we were done having relationships our own way. We already had our share of sour wines and we knew better than to mess up the last chance God was giving us. We had been praying to God for leading and found ourselves again through the rarest way. We kicked off as friends but with the sole aim of pleasing God. We knew that several things had to go if we were to do it God’s way. We had to run it for Him, with Him and by Him. It was no longer going to be about how we felt but how God felt about it.
In a world filled with sexual perversion, it seems insane to choose a different path. Some will tell you how impossible it is to be in a healthy relationship without sex, kissing, touching and all. In fact to some, these make up “the ideal relationship” but I stand to totally disagree!!! We are a testimony that defies this notion in its entirety! We practised #Sexualpurity. This was something that seemed to be a far cry from reality as sex and/or kissing were prerequisites to be in a good relationship! Don’t get it twisted, we both had our fair share of kisses but that didn’t particularly make up for what our past relationships missed.
For me, I had wondered how much God wanted me to preserve myself as I didn’t think kissing was a sin back in Uni but then, I noticed after a kissing session with an ex, I felt as though I had killed someone. I’d loose my peace and feel like I had done the unthinkable. My years of waiting paid off as I began to understand the extent to which God wanted me to preserve myself, NO KISSING (so sex wasn’t even up for discussion). I chose to wait on God to bring the man who would believe in my values irrespective of his past mistakes and for me, this was going to be one of my many convictions when I eventually find My Amazing as all the men around me did not believe it was possible to be in a serious relationship with me without kissing even if they had to part with sex for a few months/years before we would eventually get married.
I remember one of my “toatsers” telling me how I would have to settle down with a pastor as it was totally impossible for me to find a man that would want to stay with me without getting physical and my response was “he will be my own pastor, the prophet of my home”. I had too much faith in God that if He wanted me to stay without these things, He would definitely bring the man who would help make this “grace walk” a smooth sail and when God brought him, it was easy to flow into this vision as God had taken time to prepare him for that journey.
When he (Hubby) came back into my life, as impossible as the world had painted sexual purity to be, it was effortlessly easy for us to click on this- not by words alone, but in deed too as our first kiss was on the day of our Civil Marriage! Sex waited until we had been joined in church! So we had our first physical show of love (first kiss) as a married couple. We left all our mushiness till then and also had to hold our pre-wedding shoots till after our legal joining just to avoid “the heat”. At first it seemed like a dead end but all we needed was to decide to do it against the norms of the world and have it God’s way and the grace was made abundantly available from the Mercy Seat. I can categorically say that only the growth in our walk with God could have given us the grace to have been together for almost 2 years without falling.
God blessed us with a married Christian couple that helped our good fight of faith. God used them to speak to us on several occasions especially after we got engaged and the devil was out to set us up. They would call or send timely text messages, encouraging us to hold on and be watchful as the devil would try to tempt us. God used them to guide us so many times and this showed us even more that He was very much interested in our love story and we in turn were determined to make Him proud at all cost.
Keeping ourselves helped our relationship with ABBA individually and together. We were free in the presence of God. We could talk about God and purpose without feeling like hypocrites. There were no fears of God’s will as we knew we were dwelling in it. We were not scared of God saying No concerning our relationship cuz we were more about “whatever God wants, God gets”. I personally had gotten to a point were God came first. He still is first.
Our proposal was kinda huge. But even with everyone knowing about the union to be, I never stopped asking God to break the relationship if for any reason He decided it wasn’t His will for us to be together. I was up praying the same prayer on the morning of our registry. I wasn’t scared to loose him provided I still had my God. I had gotten my convictions but I still wanted God to know that He was riding and we were only passengers on the cruise.
Sincerely, waiting helped us bond. We were super close. We fought less, prayed more. We could hear the same thing from the Holy Spirit almost at the same time. We grew to understand each other so much and time spent together were for teasing, gisting, praying, singing, developing and pursuing purpose. We fought though, over silly things but we couldn’t stay mad at each other. And guess what, this God has helped us to carry into marriage. We hide nothing and we can say even the weirdest things. Our perception of one another wasn’t clouded with false emotion so we walked into this forever journey with 20/20 vision!
When you do it right by God, He grants you the grace to carry on to the end. Don’t bother about how- JUST DO IT BY GOD
So I hope with these few points of mine, I’ve been able to convince you that #sexualpurity is possible irrespective of the lies our world serves you with.