Have you ever wondered why you are going through a low season? Like nothing seems to be working for you? No job, no money, no business coming in and no ‘bae’ to even share your burdens with. Everything seems to be working just fine for everyone but you. Welcome to my past…..
2014 was the lowest point of my life. I had hit the brink and was at the point of falling. I had everything working against me. The odds didn’t work in my favour either. I was running 2 businesses and both seemed hopeless- nothing to write home about. I was super single and the few good dudes around me didn’t feel like ‘the one’. I only derived joy in celebrating my friends as there was little or next to nothing for me to celebrate anyways. Oh yea, I was job hunting oh, but they sha refused to call me and the ones that did wanted me to work 9 to 5, 6 days a week for a little over 30k shuttling between Opebi, Ikeja and Lekki Phase 1. It seemed like a never ending story of a young lady who had nothing working for her.
So I decided to bury myself. I went into a shell. Stopped hanging out with friends except those that understood my financial status. I totally withdrew from the world as that kinda cost me less biko. It was easier to stay at home and fast than go out to chill and be telling waiter ‘nothing for now, I have a running stomach’. I would just bury myself at home. It was safer.
Eventually, I decided to just draw strength from God and find a purpose for myself. I was tired of loafing around so I searched for what I loved doing. Somehow I realised going to church gave me some kind of joy I couldn’t explain so I fired up. I became a menace in the house of the Lord. I attended all church programmes and one time in church I got a message which said ‘what you have is enough to change lives’. I had nothing but I knew I wanted to change lives so I spoke to a friend who obviously had more spiritual ginger than I did and hence the birth of The Jaine Initiative. We had our first project when I had a little over #300 (three hundred naira) in my account and the project cost was a little over #120,000 and we pulled it off. Obviously not by our own pockets as our finances couldn’t add up. One of the greatest miracles God used to teach me a lesson- WHAT YOU HAVE IS JUST ENOUGH!
I had a new vision and I was ready to drown myself in it at all cost. I kept pushing. The only thing that changed was my new level of faith in God and this reshaped my life forever. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure why I was where I was but I knew there had to be a lesson and I would hate for me to miss it so I decide to stay put in class and let God teach me. Boy was it tough! My finals in school had nothing on how God drilled me and to think this is next to nothing compared to what others have had to face, I became humble.
Then more guys came and as single as I was, I needed some kind attention as a baby girl but I just kept feeling the nudge to hold on. My mind would say just try but then a sweeter voice would say do not compromise. I got tired of the battles I fought within and just gave it all up. I simply went to church one day and shouted at the top of my voice ‘Just have Your way, I’m done fighting, I’m done holding back….Just have Your WAY. I love You and I want the world to know so have Your way’. Looking back now, I want to scream and tell God just how crazy I still am about Him. After this, I cut ties with all the toasters; to some I had the stupidest excuse but I knew better than to hold on to men and expect God’s best. The decision paid off cuz weeks later, my husband found me again (story for another day).
I started getting job offers. In December that year I got 2 job offers and I was to resume in January 2015, both on the same day- one was a start-up company which gave me more time for church and the other was the dream job with one of Nigeria’s leading event company and was going to give me no time for church or ministry. I had gotten to a point in my life where nothing could take the place of God and so I let go of the dream job in the company I had been applying to be an intern with since 2012. From here, things just fell in place.
I still had broke days, quite a lot of them but guess what, God had used my 2014 experience to shape my life forever. I was stripped of everything I could depend on just so I could live depending on God. God had brought me to a point where my joy wasn’t tied to men, money or material things. I am so not there yet but I am definitely not the same person I used to be. I really didn’t understand what God was taking me through until when I had to go through a season and I was unmoved then it dawned on me, God was grooming me for a time like this.
In essence, God doesn’t take us through the fire for nothing. He takes us through it to purify us. He took me through it not to punish me but to groom me. Sincerely, I can’t imagine getting married being tied to the things God took the time to strip me of. This might just be a pinch compared to what you have been through or still going through but believe me, it is for greater glory. It might seem crazy and unfair but God loves you too much to ‘just punish’ you. There were nights I cried, knowing where I was coming from to what then seemed like my fate but thank God I was sensitive to the season. It was only a phase I had to go through to turn out better and God was in it.